


Don't Cry Baby, You'll be the One Who Saves Me

by Keletania



Category: Fire Emblem Series, Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Character Study, Crimson Flowers, Edelgard is trying her best, F/F, Ferdinand is tipsy, Hubert.exe is broken, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Love Confessions, Lysithea is an anxious mess, M/M, Marriage Proposal, Misunderstandings, Multiple Pairings, Mutual Pining, POV Multiple, Slow Dancing, Trauma Bonding, this is a GAYS ONLY EVENT
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-10
Updated: 2020-02-10
Packaged: 2021-02-27 21:14:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,470
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22652329
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Keletania/pseuds/Keletania
Summary: Lysithea goes on a meandering quest of self discovery. Wandering Garreg Mach, wallowing in self pity; she slowly begins to realize she's deserving of love and that Edelgard cares for her deeply. With every kernel of awareness the focus briefly turns to another quiet moment of love stolen in the darkness. The war is long, a ball to celebrate the victories of today and the losses of yesterday is just what the Black Eagle Strike Force needs to continue on.
Relationships: Annette Fantine Dominic/Mercedes von Martritz, Caspar von Bergliez/Linhardt von Hevring, Dorothea Arnault/Petra Macneary, Edelgard von Hresvelg/Lysithea von Ordelia, Ferdinand von Aegir/Hubert von Vestra, Manuela Casagranda/My Unit | Byleth
Comments: 4
Kudos: 58





	Don't Cry Baby, You'll be the One Who Saves Me

**Author's Note:**

> I want to send a big shout out to Biz for helping me beta this beast of a fic!
> 
> I highly recommend listening to 'Save Me' by Saint Motel while you read this.

Lysithea glanced around the crowded room and couldn't help but smile. Letting some of the tension flee her small frame, she accepted a passing glass of champagne. _Edelgard did it!_ Those who questioned their future only needed to walk into the ballroom. Commoners and nobles alike were laughing and dancing, celebrating all they had won and remembering those who had fallen. The faintest hint of melancholy permeated the room, the claws of guilt oozing from the corners, trying and failing to steal this little sliver of joy in a time of bloody war. They needed this. 

Lysithea needed this too, no matter how afraid she was of the crowds. Worried about how they would see a child in her mother's gown instead of the young woman who stood before them. She was more social than Bernadetta, but even she had limits, as irksome as they may be. _Perfection or death!_ The whispered threats of her childhood attackers always plagued her in rooms full of strangers. She was too young when her hopes and dreams were slain for progress to remember many faces, and logically she knew there were others involved she had never met. 

The Empire did this to her, stole her life, her chance at happiness. And here she was at a ball, celebrating their victory in battle, staring in the face of the later half of Edelgard's campaign. If it was not for Edelgard's subtle softness, a kindness utterly unexpected from one of her station; her determination for a brighter tomorrow, she would have fled back into Claude's welcoming arms. Although as the days continued on, even he was beginning to see how horrible things truly were, and the heights all of Fódlan could reach if Rhea and her lies were torn down from their ivory towers. 

Warmth bloomed in her belly at the thought of seeing Edelgard, wholly unrelated to the alcohol she had consumed. More importantly, Lysithea couldn't wait for Edelgard to see _her_. She wore a beautiful gown the color of violets with delicate ivory embroidery that cemented an image of the shining moon in her apparel. Her hair hung loose down her back with a beautiful brooch of the moon pulling the uppermost strands from her face. The brooch was a gift from Edelgard. It’s what spurred a youthful glow of hope her affections were reciprocated.To test the waters, she had commissioned a matching pin of a Black Eagle for the Emperor that had resulted in an embrace that made her body tingle hours after the fact. 

Knowing she needed additional assistance to achieve her goal, Lysithea had enlisted Mercedes' expertise with makeup earlier that day to ensure she looked her true age. Mercedes was the only person Lysithea trusted with the knowledge of her years of quiet pining that began so long ago. It was a simple act of kindness, when Edelgard saw Lysithea's physical failings and didn't laugh or make fun of her age. She merely smiled and lauded Lysithea's determination, before extending her hand to assist. Before Lysithea left for the ball, a long pause and a mysterious smile crossed Mercedes face as she wished Lysithea luck with a promise she wouldn't need it. The silly sentiments of friendship, but needed to gather the courage to act. There was no way of knowing how long everyone would live and who would fall in the battles to come. 

The true purpose of this evening was to embrace life in all its forms, and Lysithea was tired of waiting. If she didn't confess her feelings today, she never would. She sipped her glass, throwing a casual glance around the room. Edelgard was fairly easy to find in a crowd. While she was exceptionally short, a fact that brought Lysithea immeasurable amounts of glee, the Emperor's white hair and aura of power were easy to spot. Few people, outside the geriatric sect of the population, shared features with those experimented upon by the monsters who lurked in the shadows. Grimacing at the dark turn her thoughts had taken, Lysithea downed the last few sips of her glass and set it on another passing tray. Across the hall Lysithea spotted the object of her affection. Edelgard was standing near a pillar out of easy view for those untrained in the art of searching.

Lysithea began to walk along the edge of the room, avoiding dancers and tables alike. She set her face in a scowl she hoped would tell others to leave her alone. She knew if she was distracted from her goal, she wouldn't later return. Lysithea placed absolutely no faith in fate or destiny, as it would mean the horrors of her youth were preordained, but she still felt the anxiety of rejection. Listening to the sounds of laughter and joy permeating the room, allowed a feeling of relief to course through her. It provided an additional layer of armor should things go awry. Even if Edelgard refused her affection, Lysithea hoped the feeling in the room would keep her level enough to escape and cry outside in peace.

Lysithea passed a nearby table laden with food from all over Fódlan. The buffet was vast, an impressive feat for a ball thrown together in less than a week. Petra and Dorothea, with arms entangled, were sampling the spread. The happiness oozed off them in waves, and Lysithea couldn't help but feel affected by their affection. Petra laughed and grabbed a small plate, exclaiming, "Look Thea! This is coming from Brigid! My home is being here with us. Taste some please, I am needing to be knowing if you will be liking it."

"Oh you sweet thing, how can I say no to you? I'm sure I'll love _whatever_ this is, because you do. And if I love you, it must be sublime, because I have excellent taste."

"I am hoping so! I love you, too, Dorothea, and if you are to be coming home with me, I will be needing to find the food you enjoy. I am w- I want you to be happy with me."

" _Oh, Petra!_ Of course I'm happy, ecstatic even. I can't wait for this damned war to be over so we can abscond off to Brigid together, nothing would make me happier."

Lysithea paused her excursion to watch the pair. Petra raised a pastry of some sort to Dorothea's mouth. Her lips encased Petra's fingers, pulling them inside as she swallowed. Lysithea blushed at the display. They were in public, and yet they were utterly unashamed. Perhaps she should take this as a sign to be bold and fearless? If two people from such different backgrounds could find love in this war, there might be hope for her as well. Lysithea turned and set off to find Edelgard. A deep sound followed by a "Dorothea _!"_ could be heard as she continued her venture. Apparently she really did like the food...or Petra? Hopefully both.

Nearing Edelgard, Lysithea realized she wasn't alone but was in fact deep in conversation with Ferdinand. The latter was quite enthused, with his arms gesturing to and fro while Edelgard nodded curtly in response. They made quite the pair. Lysithea was surprised that Edelgard hadn't excused herself and continued on. However, the slight smile on her face implied that Edelgard was enjoying herself, at least to some extent. Lysithea was prepared to wait nearby until the two were done with whatever they, or rather Ferdinand, were saying. Unfortunately, Edelgard locked eyes with her and raised an arm in greeting. The implied _'join us'_ forced Lysithea to begrudgingly walk towards the pair. She had no desire to join a one-sided group discussion, but Edelgard clearly needed assistance, so she acquiesced.

Smiling, Lysithea raised her own hand and offered a quick hello. Ferdinand was overjoyed to have a new companion. He raised Lysithea into the air, spinning them both with a gleeful _'hello'_ of his own. Edelgard laughed at Lysithea’s murderous glare upon being returned to the ground. A beautiful sound, Lysithea would gladly endure such humiliation to hear once more. Side eyeing Ferdinand, she realized his jubilance most likely stemmed from his tipsy demeanor. Eyes glistening, seeing without focus, he was slightly too loud for the room. Lysithea decided just this once to forgive his impertinence; everyone deserved a moment of peace in such turbulent times. 

Ferdinand began a rambling tale of tea and coffee and the meaning of gifts that went completely over her head. Or perhaps he continued his story? Lysithea was terribly confused, hearing words that clearly connected to something. She felt as if half the narrative was missing. At Edelgard's subtle head bob of silence, Lysithea refrained from asking just what Ferdinand was speaking of. It was quite apparent at this point that he had forgotten that she had just joined the conversation. He continued on as if nothing had changed. 

Ferdinand's right hand was fidgeting with his waist and pockets while his left never held an empty glass. Lysithea was somewhat impressed by his intrinsic knowledge of when the next round of drinks would pass by. A larger part of her was concerned he might be over doing things and needed to be cut off. 

Lysithea spoke in what she hoped was a soothing voice, "Ferdinand, don't think you should take a break? You're a bit wobbly there, and I'd appreciate it if you'd stop using me as a post. I'm a person, thank you very much!"

_"Ferdie!"_

"What?" Lysithea was incredibly confused, Edelgard's uncontrollable giggling certainly wasn't helping matters.

"Call me Ferdie, we're friends Lysithea! My friends call me Ferdie!"

"Ok, _Ferdie,_ could you please stop leaning on me, you're heavy."

"I can't help the heft of my noble responsibility! Why if I didn't crush those beneath me, could I even _be_ a noble?"

Lysithea laughed along with Ferdinand's joke; he really could be quite charming when his head wasn't wearing his ass as a hat. She snickered at her own private joke, which led the incredibly tipsy Ferdinand to beam with pride. Lysithea had given up on snatching another glass of champagne; Ferdinand, _no, Ferdie, they're friends now, apparently_ , had fast fingers. The glass would be downed before she even had a chance to move. Was something odd afoot? He was exceptionally nervous, a strange happenstance for one usually so boisterous. 

Lysithea had also concluded that Edelgard was in on whatever was happening. Nothing Ferdinand said or did seemed to affect her. She continued to smile tightly and encourage Ferdinand whenever his mood began to wane. Lysithea was curious, but her own quest prevented her from intervening. She couldn't bear the stress of another's problem, or risk turning the situation into some kind of intervention. That wasn't exactly the mood she wished to confess her love to. Something that tactless was Lorenz's prerogative, and Lysithea refused to ever be compared to that fool. The mere thought made her skin crawl. She hoped wherever he was, he didn't know he had crossed her thoughts.

A foreboding aura began to overtake the trio, stifling their mirth. When Edelgard rolled her eyes and Ferdinand smiled, Lysithea wasn't nearly as surprised by their reactions as she once was. She was in desperate need of a sweater or a torch of protection, but they were a united front, the faces of the Empire. It made sense they finally found a way to get along. 

Hubert had appeared like an apparition behind them; Lysithea was not amused. The only thing she hated more than ghosts were those who pretended to be them. She really should be used to such displays by now, but it wasn't meant to be. They still frightened her, _terribly_. A polite bow proceeded his sinister voice, something Lysithea had also never become accustomed to, "Emperor, Prime Minister, and Lysithea, good evening. I hope you're enjoying the festivities. They were undertaken at such a rapid pace I fear things are bound to be amiss."

Edelgard spoke softly, "It's lovely, Hubert. Everyone is having a splendid time, I promise. You should enjoy yourself, too, you and Dorothea didn't go to all this trouble just to watch from the sidelines."

"Yes, I did. I am perfectly content to observe as I always do. You don't honestly expect me to partake in this, do you? Were I to dance with Bernadetta and others who are faint of heart, their evenings would be spoiled.." Sighing, running a hand through his hair, he continued, "It's not worth it, your Majesty, I'll remain here."

Lysithea laughed, a response that drew Hubert's ire, and the chill returned, stabbing her in the chest as he glared. She could barely contain herself from poking fun at his obvious discomfort. He had scared her, fair was fair. Lysithea's self preservation lost out to her vindictive streak, and with a teasing lilt she spoke, "Oh, come on, Edelgard! Who would dance with him? I know I certainly wouldn't. I have no desire to court death before the inevitable."

Edelgard was not amused, face hardening as she replied, "That's a bit harsh Lysithea don't you think? Hubert isn't that bad."

Lysithea's cheeks burned in embarrassment. This wasn't how the evening was supposed to go at all. She didn't practice any scenario where she was chastised like a child. Before she could apologise, Hubert spoke in a curt tone, "Yes, well thank you for that. I sh-"

Ferdinand interrupted him, voice barely above a whisper, " _I would_."

Lysithea had never seen Hubert's eyes so wide. She had also been fairly certain he was utterly incapable of blushing, and yet. _Fascinating_! Lysithea wouldn't push, she had promised herself that she would focus exclusively on her own romantic entanglement this evening. But she was curious, unbearably so. Perhaps her previous chastisement served a purpose? It allowed Lysithea to curb her tongue, and subsequently prevented her untimely death at Hubert's hands. She may not have much to live for, or a vast amount of time with which to live it, but she did have things she wished to convey before her passing. 

Edelgard, the just and kind ruler in name and action alike, chose to speak, ending the awkward moment. "Dancing sounds nice; this song is lovely…" Edelgard began to hum softly, off-key but still beautiful to listen to, and even more striking to behold. 

Lysithea spoke without thinking, nearly breathless, "Dance with me! Come, we should all enjoy this moment while we can!"

The faintest dusting of pink coated Edelgard's cheeks. She was stunned, a sentiment Lysithea reciprocated as she realized what she said. 

Suddenly, sounding far more sober than he appeared, Ferdinand spoke again in a louder voice, "Let's! No one will notice, what with the festivities in full swing. It could even be fun." 

Smiling so wide Lysithea's face began to feel sympathy pains, Ferdinand grabbed Hubert's gloved hand in his own and dragged the specter of death to the floor. Lysithea blinked rapidly in response. _Well, that happened...or was happening_? She had evolved from curious to downright intrigued. Edelgard laughed softly before she spoke, "I suppose we should join them, shouldn't we? Hubert would never forgive me for abandoning him, and you did offer…," a momentary pause of embarrassment halted her words. Tightly closing her eyes, most likely in annoyance at the expected obligation, this was all a mistake Lysithea decided she should just leave to spare Edelgard any further embarrassment. But Edelgard had begun to speak again, Lysithea's own mental dialogue caused her to miss a few precious words, only catching the final, "I would enjoy pretending to be a normal girl, even if it's only for a moment."

A subtle upward turn of her lips, too hesitant to be a smile, and a twinkling light of hope whisked across her eyes. Lysithea felt brave for the first time in a long while, wondering if perhaps Edelgard felt the same. Or mayhaps she could grow to reciprocate some level of fondness in the months to come? Lysithea blinked again; stopping the sudden influx of thoughts, both joyous and anxiety-ridden. She raised her arm in offering, if Edelgard was serious the pair had only missed the introduction of the next song, there was still plenty of time left with which to dance.

The daintiest of hands, swathed in the whitest of gloves clutched Lysithea's arm. Lysithea smiled, mimicking Ferdinand from the minute prior. She'd felt joy before, trying a new cake recipe or outsmarting her peers, even laying Jeritza flat on his ass; but nothing came close to this euphoria that coursed through her frame. She felt strong, like nothing was impossible. The smallest of upturns had blossomed into a smile as Edelgard raised her other hand to complete the dancer's form. Edelgard elected to lead, a sensation Lysithea was not expecting to enjoy, but somehow felt right. Lysithea didn't count her steps in a quest for perfection, nor did she silently compare herself to those dancing around her. Staring at Edelgard, so close and unguarded, took all her concentration. She might never experience this again, and Lysithea was determined to enjoy it.

They danced _._ Oh how they danced _,_ a gliding waltz of dizzying spins and synchronized steps. They had never shared a dancefloor before, and yet they moved as if they were born to do nothing else. No words were exchanged. No subtle nods or finger presses were needed to move as one glorious whole. Flashes of color from the hair and finery of those passing by appeared around them like fireflies in the pale moonlight. It was beautiful and perfect. Lysithea wanted nothing more than to live in this moment, to feel this joy and know intrinsically in her soul Edelgard felt some semblance of the same.

As the song ended the pair spun a final time, landing with their noses pressed together. They shared the same air, an unexpected intimacy Lysithea had never experienced before. Eyes alight she smiled, full of an uncharacteristic joy. This wasn't a waste of precious time but something altogether wonderful. Edelgard ran her knuckles down Lysithea's burning cheeks, whispering, "Time may be fleeting but life still flows through your veins. Thank you for sharing some with me. Would you like to share another?"

" _Always_!" She replied without thinking, the blush spread, setting her neck aflame. Stuttering now, "I-I mean I had a nice time too thank you."

The Professor was walking with purpose through the crowd. They stopped directly in front of Edelgard, interrupting the end of the dance and ruining a burgeoning moment of potential romance. A wary feeling settled in Lysithea's stomach as they approached, the bubble of bliss that surrounded the pair had popped. She and Edelgard were no longer alone in a crowded room. In an adamant voice Byleth spoke, "El, about that _issue_ we discussed, I am in need of your assistance." Glancing at Lysithea for the first time they hastily greeted her, "Oh, hello Lysithea, you look lovely today. My how you've grown!"

Lysithea's disposition fully soured. She truly couldn't escape the whisperings of youthful naïvite, now Edelgard would remember their places and things would remain the same. It hurt to stand next to the quiet intimacy of understanding the pair exuded. The Professor and Edelgard shared a quiet conversation with glances and the subtlest of nods. Lysithea decided that she needed to leave with some semblance of dignity intact, speaking rapidly to avoid further conversation: "I should probably go now you have so many other adm-friends to see. Good night." Lysithea removed herself from Edelgard's arms and bolted.

" _Lysithea, wait_!"

But it was too late, she was free and walking as fast as she could towards the entrance of the room. _Acceptable behavior be damned!_ Lysithea increased her pace. This was strange and too much to process. Fleeing was the only possible recourse, dodging between dancers and tipsy conversations she reached her goal. Casting a quick glance around Lysithea realized she hadn't been followed. A twinge of disappointment coursed through her. _Utterly unacceptable!_ Hadn't her body betrayed her enough? Stepping through the doorway, a whirl of cold air caressed her bare shoulders; she could finally breathe.

How could she be so stupid? Everyone knew Pro-Byleth and Edelgard belonged together, it was plain to see. The two were practically inseparable, what hope did she possibly have to earn Edelgard's attention let alone her affection? _Foolish really_. Lysithea had aged so much, yet she still felt like a child. No one here would ever look at her and see a woman capable of love, just a little sister to coo at and dote upon. _It just wasn't fair!_ She had such little time left, and she'd spend all of it alone. Turning down a silent hall, Lysithea sighed and spun down the corridor as she had at the Goddess Ball so many years ago. She fell into the part of a child again with frightening ease. _Why bother_? Nothing ever changes.

Lysithea needed to be far away from the others and the sounds of their joy, it hurt too much to bare. Torn between getting a head start on tomorrow's research with Hanneman or a solitary scholarly pursuit in the library, she aimed her wobbly feet towards the stairs. _Had they always been so far away?_ Lysithea had no idea how Ferdinand and Dorothea managed to wear heeled boots all over campus, or how Byleth and Edelgard could fight in them. Heels truly were abominations that should never have been invented. Sending a vitriolic curse at whatever idiot designed such things, she kicked them off her feet and giggled as one broke in two upon striking a nearby column. For symmetry's sake she set the other aflame. She waited for the tendrils of curling smoke to dissipate before continuing on, grateful the cool stone floor could comfort the aches and pains of her feet.

The staircase was finally in sight, and the sweet sensation of relief overcame her frame. She tried to walk at a more rapid pace, but a dizzy spell began to make the hallway wobble and bend. _Oh no not again_! Lysithea stuck out a hand in search of the wall, eyes closed. It offered little respite, but she was determined to manage the last few meters. Finally reaching the steps, Lysithea dropped onto the hard stones, layers of tulle and silk tried to protect her from further discomfort. 

Dancing was too strenuous an activity after the battle just days before. She really should have chosen to rest after carrying her team to glory, but a ball like this was a once in a lifetime event. There was no way of knowing who would be alive to see the war's end, and if those lucky few would be able to celebrate the fall of Rhea's regime. So few casualties bode well for the days to come, but Lysithea put little stock in hope and faith. They never helped her anyway. Resting her head between her knees, Lysithea focused on her breathing. _In and out, in and out, in and out_. 

Her eyes began to water from heartbreak, or exertion, or perhaps even disappointment at her own failings? Lysithea was too woozy to determine, but any possibility was a likely culprit. All she wanted was a normal life with someone by her side to love her and be loved in return. Was that truly too much to ask for? At this rate, her accursed crests would kill her before anyone on the battlefield had the chance to try. It wasn't fair, she was so young and had experienced so very little.

A cruel thought crossed her mind, that no one deserved peace if it stemmed from blood and bodies, just like her own, sacrificed in the name of progress; but Lysithea knew better. Rhea remained in power by sitting on a throne of lies and torment, casting down all who dared to better themselves. If she had to push herself too far so that no one would be cursed as she had, Lysithea would endure the pains of her childhood again and again and again. No child would ever be stolen in the night and brutalized for power. The sacrifices she and Edelgard endured and bore witness to would never be repeated. Even if all she could hope for was to stand by Edelgard's side for brief moments while fighting those who torment from the light of day and slithered in the dark, Lysithea would be happy. She'd find a way to settle for scraps, it was better than spending any more precious time alone.

***

Hubert stormed into the nearest empty room. He ran a shaking hand through his hair, trying to collect himself before he returned to the festivities. _What was Ferdinand thinking?_ Discretion was key! They had agreed. Such behavior was incredibly reckless, and the traitorous voice in the back of his head whispered of cruelty. Surely he knew how it felt to be quietly considered and publicly ridiculed, Ferdinand had suggested the arrangement after all. Hubert was honorbound to follow the terms to the letter, no matter how much his naïve inner voice wished for more. Thoughts of that kind were foolish, an utter waste of time. 

They were at war. Companions were scarce, and it was only a matter of time before Lady Edelgard reigned supreme and brought the beginnings of peace to a broken land. Once she was victorious things would change, Ferdinand would find a suitable wife and set about righting his father’s wrongs and aiding her majesty when requested. Hubert would remain alone, constantly vigilant for threats and potential risks to the Empire. He couldn’t take the risk of pondering a different path and being swayed by an impossibility. He used to be better. He persevered for years without ever acting on such thoughts, and now after less than a year he toyed with the possibility of change. _Madness!_ He shut his eyes tight in shame at his own selfishness. _This was enough, it had to be_.

Almost as if his wayward thoughts summoned the man, an act even Hubert’s magic could not achieve. He’d tried before, a foolishness of his youth that had repeatedly failed. Ferdinand walked into the room and smiled. The sun shone in the darkness, Hubert was forced to cast his eyes to the ground in an unworthy shame. Taking a subtle breath to collect himself, he began a rapid process of locking all emotional sentiments behind very thick mental walls. It wouldn’t do to risk slipping after what had occurred, he should have been more adamant with his refusal. Surely Ferdinand had found him, significantly more sober than before to punish him. Hubert would endure, he deserved it.

Exasperated Ferdinand sighed and began walking towards him. Hubert prepared for the worst; this was it, the inevitable end. Things had been nice while they lasted, only one maid had to be paid for silence as he snuck out of rooms that were not his own. They were careful, and one moment of weakness would bring everything tumbling down around him. Hubert earned whatever consequences were to come, he dared to hope and should have known better.

Several respectable steps apart, Ferdinand stopped and stared at Hubert. He attempted a placating smile that stung worse than any barbed retort. The damned mask had returned. Ferdinand spoke in a tight voice, “There you are. I’ve been looking everywhere for you. Running off like that was terribly uncouth, I almost followed. Had Edelgard not caught me and suggested that I take some time to regain my sensibilities before I began to search in earnest, I surely would have. Making a fool of us both in turn.”

Careful to match his counterpart’s level refrain, Hubert replied, “Yes we couldn’t have that. People could talk, and I thought we were quite clear on avoiding any action that could result in such idle gossip.”

“ _Gossip_ implies the people would be lying, in this case I don’t know if that’s quite the word I would use. But I digress, semantics are not why I’m here.”

“Yes, yes I know I should have stopped you from dragging us onto the floor. We agreed to be _discreet_.” Hubert snapped, wishing for this to end, and quickly.

“What? No that’s not why I’m here at all. While yes I do apologize for forcing you into the public eye, I actually had a rather lovely time. You are a surprisingly gifted dancer, far more graceful than most would expect. Not me of course, you have the daintiest hands…”

“ _The point_. I assume there is one?”

“Oh apologies Hubert there I go again! I wanted to dance, and with you at that. Perhaps I went about things all wrong. I may have consumed a number of champagne glasses that exceeded the appropriate level for a noble.”

“That’s not what we agreed to. In fact it goes directly against your painstakingly crafted list of rules for proper social etiquette.”

Ferdinand's face fell as he spoke, “You’re upset with me? I suppose that’s warranted I was terribly unrefined dragging you about like a common child." Sighing softly before he continued, "I thought we had moved past such basic understandings Hubert? The agreement was designed to keep Edelgard and her blossoming reign free of scandal; the people would have drawn conclusions had her left and right hands joined forces outside of court. Neither of us wanted that, things were too new for all involved for that level of risk.”

Curtly, Hubert replied, “Yes, well nothing had changed as time went on, foolish of me to continue on as before.”

Ferdinand ran a hand over his face in frustration, once his fingers graced his scalp he changed his hair’s part. A dirty, distracting trick as Hubert was forced to focus on the flecks of candlelight that shone against his waves. Seizing a moment of distraction, Ferdinand took a step forward and began again, “Oh all of this is coming out wrong. I was afraid at first of the political ramifications of coming forward, we both were. But as time passed other fears plagued me, of how the people and our friends would react. They would say things and it might upset you…”

Hubert was genuinely irritated now. How could he be this misunderstood? The faintest movement of his brow betrayed his impending glare, swallowing tightly Hubert spoke, “Surely that isn’t what you think of me? I’ve never cared for such frivolity. If anyone had something to lose socially it is you Ferdinand. Not I.”

“My Father is dead. There was no one else I needed to risk the wrath of by sharing this news... _well_ ” he paused. Carefully thinking about the words that followed, Ferdinand continued, “Do you know where I went following my Father’s death? I was gone for nearly a week before I rejoined with the rest of our forces." Staring directly at Hubert, or perhaps through him, Ferdinand continued, "I went to see my family, or what’s left of us anyway.”

“I had suspected as such.”

“Why didn’t say something?”

The words needed to answer that question pained Hubert to say. He put far too much effort into making them sound neutral, indifferent: “If you wished to tell me you would have. You did not; I accepted your decision. What does your family have to do with any of this?”

Ferdinand jolted and began to pick at his waistcoat. When he next spoke he sounded uncharacteristically nervous, “I had to tell my mother and remaining siblings they were free. It was safe to return home to our ancestral land should they wish to do so. I was the second oldest, I know you heard rumors about my eldest sister who vanished and was believed dead. I was always grateful you and Edelgard never mentioned it, everyone else did. My mother believed that my father had something to do with the nefarious plot, and after all I’ve learned I’m confident she was right. She tried to take us all far away where the slithering hands of the power mad couldn’t reach, but my father was just as clever and made her a deal. He would let the others go free, if I stayed. He needed an heir, _a crest bearing heir_ , and as I had already been introduced at court he chose me. It hurt to watch them leave. Did you know he forced me to stand outside and watch their carriages pull away?”

“That’s barbaric!” Hubert accidentally interjected. A cold rage coursed through his blood. Had someone else not finished that man off, Hubert would have gladly taken the task himself.

“Yes well, we all have trauma right? Or that’s what Professor Byleth says anyway. I’m not sure if it’s supposed to be helpful, but agreeing makes them so happy I can’t help myself but comply. Regardless, my mother wanted to hear first hand accounts of the progress Edelgard hoped to bring to the Empire and beyond, as well as, how I’d play a part in all of this.” Witnessing Hubert bristle in response from the potential security leak, Ferdinand quickly continued, “Don’t worry Hubert I didn’t tell her anything the public doesn’t already know. She just wanted proof it was more than political propaganda but rather a true noble endeavor. My siblings wanted to hear about my friends: the war heroes and rebels fighting the good fight.”

Hubert was careful to remain emotionally distant, nothing Ferdinand said or didn’t say would impact him. This was a casual dalliance nothing more. Ferdinand took another step forward, Hubert brought his arms behind his back exuding a confidence he didn’t truly feel. Hubert nodded and replied, “And just what did you say about your friends and allies?”

“I told my blood relations that I found a family in bond, and that I’m not alone, that I’m happy. I shared stories of our adventures, our trials and victories. My mother is far too clever for her own good and noticed that I was carefully distant when referring to you. As we are often tied together in the tales the common folk spread she suggested one of my sisters be presented as a potential wife... _for you_ , once the war is over and settled. I may have overreacted. In shock I stood and said ‘ _no_ ’ with a force that nearly knocked the table over. Had one of my little sisters not been paying attention, Grandmama’s tea set would have shattered…”

Hubert was cautiously optimistic, but he refused to convey such sentiments should Ferdinand’s past outburst have stemmed from disgust rather than a base jealousy. He hadn't kept his family a secret to protect them, only for the claws of court to then tear them apart. Hubert paused careful to ensure his response was well received, as a panicked anxiety had begun to overtake Ferdinand with his hands grazing his vest at a more rapid pace. Staring directly into eyes the color of molten gold, Hubert spoke slightly breathless much to his displeasure: “Ferdinand, I know how deeply breaking such a valued family heirloom would wound you. I have never been granted the honor of touching the porcelain pot after all. I’m glad the incident ended without casualty.”

“I felt much the same. After that visit I realized a great many things Hubert.”

“As is to be expected.”

Suddenly sounding as nervous as his demeanour conveyed, Ferdinand replied, “I-I realized I can’t do this anymore.”

Hubert froze, the place his alleged heart resided within was clutched in an eagle's talons. Even expecting such a response, he still felt pain. Taking a step away to walk out with dignity, Hubert clenched his hands and replied with a simple, “I should go then,” as Ferdinand glanced down.

Hubert had almost managed to walk past him before Ferdinand's focus returned to the room. Alarmed he latched onto Hubert’s forearm, holding him in place. “No wait, that’s not what I meant. Pockets, _why do I have so many pockets?”_ The frantic searching his free hand was committing caused Hubert to be concerned he was going to be regurgitated upon. Perhaps Ferdinand was still under the influence? He hoped not, Hubert had enough unpleasantness for one evening. As Hubert's attempts to free himself began again in earnest, Ferdinand ceased his incessant searching to focus on keeping Hubert frozen in place.

Ferdinand began to ramble; Hubert truly was frozen at the sight, such activity was utterly unexpected and foreign from lips so known: “Hubert listen to me _please_. I’ve hurt you, repeatedly for months. I’ve been callous and cruel with your affections, once I realized how to look they really are quite obvious. I can’t believe I was oblivious for so long.” Hubert scoffed but Ferdinand continued on undeterred, “Slinking off into the shadows before dawn, curt remarks in front of the others. I can’t lie anymore I just can’t.”

At those words, a kindness wrapped in cruelty, Hubert yanked his arm free. He was likely to have a bruise or sore shoulder but that was a problem for the Hubert of tomorrow, the Hubert of the present needed to be numb and alone. The oddest sensation had begun at the corners of his eyes, a surefire sign he needed to leave the room immediately. Hubert began to walk as fast as his dress robes would allow him, while Ferdinand trailed behind determined to give chase. _Hadn’t he made his sentiments clear enough?_ The only solace to Hubert’s plight was being the first to move, Ferdinand’s nervous twitching certainly helped him remain ahead as well.

Ferdinand began to call after him, “I’m sorry! I’ve hurt you and you deserve better, you deserve to be happy Hubert. You deserve better than me, and yet _HA!_ ” 

Hubert was surprised by the sudden outburst of glee. The metallic twinkling that followed turned him to stone. _Ferdinand was going to kill him._ The callous section of his mind wasn't surprised, Ferdinand had a reputation to maintain and he could have Hubert sullying it _._ Hubert wasn’t wounded by the occurrence either, accepting it as an inevitability of all relationships, even Bernadetta could have slain him had she felt so inclined. The least Hubert could do to the selfish voice in his head was turn and stare at Ferdinand’s striking face before he fell. Even he deserved such frivolities before passing on to the beyond.

Ferdinand was unarmed and reaching for something that had fallen onto the ground. Glancing up waves of sunlight bounced off of his head, as he raised a ring. _A ring?_ Smiling so wide it must have hurt Ferdinand spoke with such glee it seeped into Hubert’s frame, “Hubert, I love you! I don’t deserve you after all that I’ve done, keeping you in the shadows like a shameful secret. Marry me! I will never forgive myself for causing you such pain, but should you allow it I’ll spend the rest of my days atoning for my sins.”

Hubert was numb for an entirely different reason, this was wrong, all wrong. It couldn’t possibly be real, this was something the darkest parts of himself dreamed of on long nights, certainly but in the light of day was positively laughable. Hubert was shamed as his mouth tried and failed to speak, finally settling on a “ _What_?” to express his confusion.

Ferdinand swallowed, and nodded his head; years spent observing Ferdinand made it apparent he was about to give a speech. Hubert could only blink and close his mouth, something truly was wrong for him to do something so weak. The smile that could have put the sun to shame returned as Ferdinand spoke, “If you’ll have me, I wish to spend the rest of time by your side. Hubert, I don’t care what we do or in what fashion you’ll allow, so long as we’re together; I’ll be satisfied!”

Hubert still didn’t know how to respond, perhaps he really was dead and one of the gods who allegedly existed deigned to give him a moment’s respite before the final end? Ferdinand’s elation had begun to wane at Hubert’s lack of response, the awkward and uncharacteristic stumbling from before had returned, “If...if you don’t feel the same that’s perfectly alright. I understand. Nothing has to change if you do not wish it to...if you wish it I’ll walk through the nearest door and never look back. I’ve hurt you darling, I’ll take whatever you allow.” Ferdinand dropped his face towards the ground, keeping the ring alight, “I love you Hubert, I have for a long time. I just couldn’t find the proper way to tell you, and as time passed the moment didn’t appear to ever arrive. I love you, but you don’t have to love me back. I’m braver than I look, I can take it.”

The shock had finally worn off, this was really happening. His Ferdinand could turn any conversation into a discussion of his merits. Scoffing, Hubert replied, “only you could turn a proposal into celebration of your own strengths”. 

Ferdinand attempted to speak, to clarify his point; but Hubert wouldn’t let him. The man had spoken enough already, it was Hubert’s turn. And speak he did, in a feather light whisper, “I didn’t wish to hope for anything at all, let alone something with such grand connotations. You don’t need to do this Ferdinand. I’m not upset, nothing needs to change, things are fine as they are.”

Hubert wouldn’t allow Ferdinand to throw his life away for guilt or an honorbound sense of obligation. As if he could sense the change in Hubert’s thoughts, Ferdinand retorted, “I’m not compelled by anything but adoration. I truly wish to marry you, should you feel so inclined. You deserve better than fine. You deserve to be happy!”

Hubert couldn’t prevent a soft ' _oh_ ' of surprise from being uttered. The corner of his mouth slowly began to rise in an unabbiden smile, _a genuine smile_. He couldn’t recall the last time such an expression had occurred. Feeling a bit warm and breathless Hubert replied, “well alright then”.

Ferdinand rose with a shocked, “What!?”.

“I accept _._ It’s too late in the evening, and I fear you might still have the residual effects of alcohol clogging your sensibilities; but come morning, should you feel the same I will accept your proposal.”

With a shaking hand that so eerily mirrored his own, Ferdinand rose and slid the ring onto Hubert's finger. Raising said hand to his lips, Ferdinand placed a chaste kiss. “The ring is my mother’s you have such delicate hands I knew it would fit. But should you desire something else, something better I’ll buy you another. I’ll buy you a whole house full, if it will make you smile like that once more.”

“No, this is perfect. A reminder that love can be found in the darkest of places and still persevere.”

It’s impossible to say who moved first, the pair simply were not kissing and then they were. Hubert raised his hand to course through Ferdinand’s hair, only for his newly placed ring to snag. Before Hubert could try to remedy the situation, Ferdinand brought his own hand to overlap, fingers entwined and peaceful.

“I love you Hubert von Vestra. Now that I’ve started saying it, I’m not sure you will be able to make me stop.”

Hubert was happy, unbearably so. He kissed the side of Ferdinand’s neck to avoid his love baring witness to the phenomenon, lest he feel the need to escape. People didn’t know how to handle Hubert when he felt joy, he certainly didn’t know what to do with himself either. He whispered against Ferdinand’s collar, “ _I feel the same_.”

A subtle movement of comfort along his back stilled. Ferdinand was rendered speechless, frozen, stand-still. It served him right for the ordeal Hubert was forced to endure. Now that he knew his mind truly was his worst enemy, Hubert would be better prepared in the future to avoid jumping to conclusions so rapidly. Or so he hoped. How strange to feel hope, how novel? Hubert decided to be kind, raising his head to gaze opening at Ferdinand he repeated himself, “I feel the same, you know I do.” As Ferdinand failed to reply, Hubert was alarmed. He spoke without thinking, “ _Flames_ , you really don’t know? Ferdinand von Aegir, I love you as well.”

The smile returned as Ferdinand’s arm snaked its way up his back, settling behind his head. Leaning forward the two reunited. A kiss. A kiss of hope and longing and relief. Things could be better, there were things to look forward to, come the war’s end. Lives to be lived together, as advisors and lovers. There was a light that yet lived beyond the dawn. If Hubert smiled against Ferdinand's mouth at the thought, so be it. He'd earned a sliver of happiness.

***

Lysithea ventures upstairs, the promise of academic fulfillment carrying her onward. This day was a whirlwind of emotions and she couldn't wait for it to end. Things hadn't turned out how she had hoped, but if she could manage to hide out for the rest of the festivities they couldn't get worse. It's cowardly, a small voice in the back of her head is ashamed, but the reasons to continue on were dwindling as the war continued. It was better to cut her losses and move on.

It was clear her affections were unreciprocated, a lost cause. She didn't have the time to waste on childish whims and fancies. Perhaps it's better this way, if Byleth hadn't intervened she would've made a complete and utter fool of herself. Edelgard's position was nowhere near as absolute as she claimed, it would be cruel to force her to pretend to feel in front of so many others. This had to be better. It hurt, she ached inside with a gutting sorrow but her pain was solitary and that was always preferable.

The great pains of her past always had an audience. Masks and gloves covered identities, echoing halls distorted voices. But not the laughter, no the fervorous devotion to cruelty was presented without shame. The monsters who slaughtered her siblings and brutalized her own form, their glee was poison that spread throughout the dungeons, infecting everyone it touched. Scars that never healed, no matter how many esoteric healing tomes she studied. Voices that still whisper in the dark, flashes of figures, ghostly apparitions of her family begging her to join them in the oblivion of beyond.

In times like these, Lysithea couldn't stop herself from having horrible thoughts and recollections of the past. A form of self harm, that forced her to remember how lucky she is to live and how much time she's squandered on petty trivialities. She should be ashamed to hope for moments with an Emperor when she would be lucky to reach the end of the decade. The cold caresses of her siblings were growing more solid as the war continued, there were moments she could swear she could see their small forms in their entirety. 

Even if Edelgard felt the same, it would be cruel to act on such whims. To find joy and peace after so much strive and struggle only to be stolen away again. The guilt at leaving her behind would be unbearable. She had suffered enough for ten, fifteen, flames even twenty people. Lysithea couldn't live with herself if she was adding to the pile of bodies and pain. _It's better this way, it has to be_.

The scholarly part of her mind had begun taking notes on those around her as soon as she entered Garreg Mach. The hope she could connect her own trauma to someone on the grounds, a childish dream, but necessary. Surely someone knew something about the horrors she endured. Lysithea wasn't naive enough to believe they also died inside at the hands of her tormentors, but perhaps they heard whispers of those who slithered in the dark. Or better yet knew names or locations with which to strike, a need to make these monsters bleed and atone for their sins kept her going when the guilt of being a sole survivor wasn't enough. She had no idea she would meet someone who also fell at these wretched hands and found a way to get back up again.

Watching, Lysithea was always watching. There was so much to see and learn she couldn't possibly help herself. But it hurt to see Edelgard flinch when people touched her or recoil when Dorothea suggested they change into lighter wear that showed off their physiques. The flicker of terror at showing even a sliver of skin, Lysithea knew well. She was lucky to only have her torso covered in scars, but whatever experiments were done to her to achieve that damned second crest took less time than anticipated. Her abductors were displeased they couldn't inflict more pain, they had begun to depend on screams to get through the day. It took far longer than Lysithea would have liked to admit to realize she and Edelgard shared a past. It wasn't until she overheard a conversation between the Professor and their favorite student, that she understood. Lysithea's curiosity always won out over things like common courtesy.

She continued to watch and wait for an opportune moment to share. Lysithea spent so much time alone with her thoughts and trauma, she needed to find someone with which to share. Divulging the truth about what had been done to her, caused nearly as much pain as the acts themselves. She had no way of knowing if she would be believed or worse pitied.

The Professor found a way to weasle into her heart and was the first to hear; their reaction gave Lysithea hope others would also understand. Watching her honorary sister fall in battle, only to return again with a greater vengeance than before, made Lysithea weep. She couldn't stop herself from hoping Catherine would open her eyes and realize the lies she's surrounded by. Others gained bits and pieces of the truth, but only Edelgard was also granted its entirety. 

Together the pair found ways to cope and process the events that had occurred in their youth, covering for the other if something triggered a return of their terror. It was easy to love someone who was broken in all the same ways and found and also found a way to move forward. They didn't always agree on the best course of action, but that's to be expected with different personalities and reasoning models. This is why it had to be better to remain friends and nothing more, to lose someone who truly cares and understands would be far worse.

Nearing the library, Lysithea is drawn from her melancholy thoughts. Sighing, she rolls her neck and shoulders hoping to release some of their tension. If she's going to spend the next few hours hunched over a pile of books as tall as she is, it was best if she could still feel her extremities. Rounding the final turn, the library in sight, Lysithea froze. Lights flickered through the doorway and the sound of laughter could be heard from within. _Damn it!_ Someone or rather a group of someones had beaten her. She was in no state to interact with people or worse, ruin their celebrations with her own dejected sentiments. Hanneman wins, _how unfortunate_.

***

Caspar was running towards the library, using his arm to whip him around the corners of the second floor hallways. _Lin._ He had to Linhardt, and now! He messed everything up, and if Linhardt had to find out, Caspar wanted to be the one to tell him. People always said he's brave and kind, but none of those descriptions were accurate anymore. It would be better to be up front and watch Linhardt break up with him, than for someone else to get there first. 

Running without armor was always hard to adapt to. Caspar is clumsy and brash enough as it is, and without thirty pounds of metal keeping him in place, the urge to fidget and move would win out. But they're at war now, if he didn't have to wear all that bulk he could run around the field and finish things before anyone else got hurt. He and Linhardt were always side by side, _or they were._ Maybe Edelgard knew this was coming and that's why she always vetoed his totally great ideas. She didn't want to lose anyone, either.

Besides nearly doubling his speed, the lack of clanking, jangling metal meant he had the ability to skid to a stop in the doorway of the library. In the silence, he could stare to his heart's content. Pools of green hair twisting around a slender finger. Abstract lines of ink covered his face from the quill he absentmindedly twirled in the air. Of all the Linhardts, this was Caspar's favorite. Calm and content, focused on a problem no one else could solve, totally in his element. Caspar couldn't help but smile. He didn't know many people who could be this beautiful covered in ink, eyebrows furrowed in concentration. 

This was where Lin belonged, studying whatever suited his fancy that day, not on the battlefield covered in grime and blood. Softly washing the ink from Lindhardt's face had been one of Caspar's favorite activities since he was a boy, long before he knew what love was. Cleaning blood from a shaking body shocked by horror and strife, as had been the case lately, ached Caspar to the bone. Linhardt wasn't meant for such things, it wasn't fair he had to partake. Other people knew how to heal, surely they could go in his stead. A small sliver of hope that Edelgard would let him stay home after Caspar broke his heart crossed his mind. It was a little victory for most to sit a single battle out and rest, but to Linhardt something glorious. _At least something good could come of this?_

Taking a deep breath, Caspar entered the room, careful to make his steps echo throughout the room. Lin always got mad when people crept up on him. Yawning softly, Linhardt turned. Seeing Caspar, the corner of his mouth turned upwards.

"Hello Caspar, having fun?"

"It's alright, parties have never been my favorite..." Caspar drew off, scuffing the floor with his boots.

"Likewise, love, hence the studying." Lin cast a lazy hand over his collection of papers, "Did you need something? A place to hide, perhaps?" Linhardt chuckled, probably remembering Hubert's threats that everyone was to enjoy themselves for Edelgard's sake, or else. If he knew the truth, Caspar doubted he'd make jokes to lighten the mood. Neither of them ever fit into these scenes, it was better on the outskirts where no one could bother them. 

Caspar always felt so awkward at these things; he was a second son whose only talent was taking a punch and continuing on as before. He wasn't wanted or useful. Together though, _together_ they could hide from their fathers, responsibility, anything bad. No one asked Lin for favors if Caspar was nearby; the possibility he could mess things up kept them at bay. Lin could rest against his shoulder and nap or discreetly read, while Caspar watched in awe at the light hitting his freckles or the smallest of laughs as he has an idea. The world was alright, it has new people and surprises, but none of them held a candle to Linhardt's smile.

"Are you going to continue to stand over there silently? Honestly, Caspar, it's alarming…" Linhardt paused, his face contorting with confusion, speaking slowly and with the beginnings of concern, he continued, "Did something happen? If anyone, and I do mean _anyone_ spoke ill of you for what happened with your relatives, I will set them straight."

Caspar couldn't help the sniffle that overcame him. This wasn’t what was supposed to happen. Lin was upset and for all the wrong reasons. "I-I'm so sorry!"

Linhardt rose, at a pace unexpected for one so fond of rest. He began to walk towards Caspar, who tried to meet him. _He really tried_. Making it several paces before he fell to the ground sobbing, crouched down with his head in his hands.

Lin met him on the ground with a soft, "Darling what happened?" as he began to stroke Caspar's back in soothing circles.

With snot running down his face and tears drenching his only nice shirt, Caspar looked as much of a mess as he felt inside. "A-An-Annette asked me to grab dinner with her in town.” He paused to take a deep gulp of air as the circles on his back stopped. “I'm so sorry, Lin! I don't know how it happened o-or why. I thought she knew I was with you. Happily beside you, but somehow she thought there was a chance she could, she cou-"

Caspar raised his gaze to Linhardt’s face, ready to see a look of despair, or maybe even anger. A look of gentle bemusement was the last thing he thought would happen, especially when Linhardt said, "Oh Caspar hush. There's absolutely nothing to be sorry for! I'm fairly certain you've blown things completely out of proportion. I highly doubt Annette was hitting on you, isn't she seeing Mercedes?"

Caspar reached up to pull at his hair in terror, " _Oh fuck,_ Mercedes is going to kill me Lin!"

Placing hands on both sides of Caspar's face, Linhardt began to laugh. Drawing their heads together, foreheads brushing, he collected himself enough to say, "Fret not, I will protect you. If I can carry Hubert across campus and over two staircases, I'm quite confident I can meet Mercedes on the battlefield and live."

" _ Hubert _ ?” This was even worse than Caspar thought. Two seconds after this confession and Linhardt was already starting to move on! “Huh...did you want to start seeing him? A bit gloomy, but he's nice and I'm sure he'll treat you right…"

"Oh, honestly, you fool.” Linhardt reached one hand down, tilting Caspar’s chin up so that their gazes met. “I'm quite content to remain by your side, even if you're prone to terrified hysterics at perceived wrongdoings. And I know for a fact I can't best Ferdinand, so that would be... _ messy. _ "

Caspar just stared at Linhardt, still confused. Was he… not breaking up with him? He was starting to believe that maybe, maybe there was a glimmer of hope. Placing a small kiss on Caspar's forehead, Linhardt rose. Offering a hand, Caspar followed behind him. He still wasn’t completely convinced that he hadn’t overreacted. If people thought his friendly demeanor was something more, something flirtatious, this could continue to happen. Who would be next? Ashe, Bernadetta, _ Leonie _ ? This could become a problem. 

Linhardt seemed to always know when such plights began to overrun Caspar's mind. He stepped closer and pulled the shorter man into a hug, chin resting on the top of Caspar’s head as Caspar laid his head on his chest. 

"It's alright, Caspar, honestly. Even if you did begin to develop feelings for another, I wouldn't mind. I can share. We've been together since we were children, and still you worry I'll fly away like a frightened bird. If anyone needs to apologise, it's me for being unclear with my devotion."

"What? You haven't done anything wrong, ever! Don't be ridiculous Lin,” Caspar protested, voice muffled against Linhardt’s shirt.

Caspar felt, rather than heard, Linhardt’s sigh. "Please don't put me on a pedestal as some perfect picture of a person. I'm certainly not, the thought of being perfect alone is exhausting. I love you Caspar, I have forever. It grew in stages as we aged, the two of us an inseparable pair. But even I can make mistakes. I should tell you more often when I do, would that help?"

Caspar felt small, smaller than he normally was in Linhardt's presence. It was only fitting that a small " _ maybe _ " was his reply. He didn't really think Lin was perfect, he had all sorts of flaws. But those flaws, just like his strengths, made him who he was, and Caspar loved every single one. He knew Lin didn't really believe that's what he thought, but, still it's a nice reminder to hear.

"As promised, I love you Caspar. Everything will be alright."

"Ok…" Caspar began to smile. It was also small but an excellent start.

They stood for a moment in the embrace, before a knocking and a soft "excuse me" interrupted the pair. They turned toward the door, where a sheepish Annette was anxiously swaying in place.

"Hello, Annette. Are you having a pleasant time at the ball?" Linhardt could be nice to other people when he felt like it.

Annette entered the room. Mercedes followed, gazing vacantly at her surroundings. When she neared the pair, Annette blurted, "Oh, Caspar I'm so, so, so so so sorry! I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable, promise. I just wanted to spend time with the two of you. I should've waited until I could ask you both at the same time. Maybe it wouldn't have been so weird?"

Linhardt let out a soft chuckle. "Oh, it's quite alright, no harm done. Caspar just worries sometimes that he's letting people down. In fact, if he's amiable to the suggestion, I think it would be entertaining at the very least to dine in the city together."

"Yeah,” Caspar said, some of his usual excitement returning to his voice. “That would be fun. Would Mercedes be joining us too?" Caspar's smile was genuine. He wanted his friends to all get along, this would be nice.

"Oh, umm...I hadn't actually asked her yet. Mercie?" Annette spun around, some of her anxious energy returning.

"Hmmm...that sounds fun! I haven't been on a double date in ages," Mercedes replied, still staring vacantly into space, completely missing Annette's jolt of surprise.

"Date!?"

"Yes, I think it'll be fun, don't you?"

"Yeah, totally, I just didn't think you felt that way. It's kind of weird to hear in front of other people, but I'm too happy to care!"

Tuning back in, Mercedes blinked and turned to Annette, "I thought we were already dating? Aren’t we?"

"And I thought I was confused," Caspar jokes. The four friends begin to laugh heartily. Sometimes it's better to talk about things instead of running or fighting, Caspar reckoned. Maybe the Professor really was onto something with all those letters of advice?

***

Lysithea hoped Hanneman hadn't taken any of their research materials on his trip. It'd be terribly annoying if she had nothing to work with. She was grateful he wouldn't be within his office, as she couldn't handle talking to someone right now. Perhaps come morning when his caravan of researchers returned from wherever Hanneman's latest theory took them, she'd feel like herself again. Come morning things would go back to the way they had always been, whether or not she was properly prepared. The various faculty offices Lysithea passed were empty, hopefully they would remain as such for the foreseeable future.

Entering the crestology research lab, Lysithea perused the tables and other flat surfaces for notes. She hoped to find something related to their present work, as she knew if she began something new in this state she'd become obsessed with a new topic and forget about the old. The forthcoming lecture that she was taking after Linhardt would be sure to follow her declaration. She didn't have the minutes to waste listening to Hanneman prattle on, thus finding their notes was a critical task. One that absolutely had nothing to do with her need to be distracted from her own thoughts.

Hidden under a book of little importance, Lysithea found a page of random musings and miscellaneous notes. It wasn't ideal, but it would have to do. She could bounce things off of this, they certainly wouldn't be her best work but she couldn't force herself to care. A clicking of heels followed by a pair of rhythmic steps that could only belong to the Professor echoed down the hall. Lysithea sent a quick prayer to a goddess she didn't believe in and to anyone else who might be listening in that the heeled soles didn't belong to Edelgard. If she had to listen to their romantic interlude, Lysithea wasn't sure what she'd do, but she knew it wouldn't be kind.

"Oh Professor, do keep up. You're the one that wanted to speak to me, remember?"

The Professor didn't reply, but they had always been rather stoic. Lysithea breathed out in relief at the pair that walked towards her. It wasn't Edelgard, a pathetic part of her mind still thought there was hope. A desire to be nosy overcame Lysithea, she carefully crept towards the doorway, careful to avoid being seen as the pair approached. What could Byleth have to discuss with Professor Manuela?

As if answering Lysithea's thoughts, her Professor spoke, "In your room please..."

"My, my Professor, how scandalous. People will talk."

"Heh. They might, but I think you'd enjoy it."

"Oh you know me, if I'm not the center of attention then I have to find a better room."

The pair stepped into Manuela's office. Once she was fairly confident they couldn't see her, Lysithea snuck across the hall to more easily eavesdrop. Something odd was happening here too? Byleth always stopped Manuela when she was playing with them, flirting without a care. Lysithea loved Edelgard, and she was certain that Edelgard felt the same about their Professor. It was her sworn duty to relay the truth and spare the object of her affection from further harm.

A voluptuous shadow that could only belong to Manuela placed a hand on its hip. Annoyance colored the woman's voice as she demanded, "Alright, spill it, something's wrong."

Byleth was nervous. Lysithea was incredibly surprised that her Professor could even experience such an emotion. They were always so stalwart, steady in the storms of war and teenage angst. Lysithea covered her mouth and slammed her head against the wall as Byleth began to pace about the room.

"Manuela, well, you see…"

"Yes dear? Do take your time, it's not like there's a party on or anything."

"Sorry. I didn't mean to steal you away from the festivities. Y-"

"Oh,  _ that _ , I don't mind at all. I just want to know what you plan on doing with me!" Maunela couldn't help but flirt in response.

The return to normalcy appeared to give Byleth confidence as they walked towards Manulea. Their shadows combined into a mess of limbs that bounced off the floor and walls. Someone coughed to clear their throat.

Byleth spoke in the clear voice of a battle weary commander, "Manuela please be serious and listen. Just listen to me."

Manuela's frazzled response, "well alright if you insist," betrayed her own lack of ease.

"I may not be a man or have any standing worth noting, but all I have is yours Manuela. Whatever capacity you'll have me, I will revel in. I've never felt anything of note before so I'm unsure of my own feelings and their strength in comparison to your other suitors...but I adore you Manuela." Byleth paused as Manuela made a strangled noise. Taking a breath that stole the air from the room, Byleth continued, "You are a songbird who refuses to be caged or kept quiet. A vision on the stage and off. I am honored to call you a friend. And, well...if you've ever meant any of the comments you've directed at me, I would like to be more. If you didn't and they were only offhand remarks, I understand it's just how you are, and I can't fault you for being yourself."

"Oh Professor, I mean  _ Byleth.  _ Hmm I don't know if I've ever used your name before…we'll have to change that. Now be a dear and shut the door. I thought you'd  _ never _ get the hint, honestly. I'm not getting any younger you know!"

"I don't understand?"

"I think you're hot, sweetheart and if you meant every sweet thing you just said I'd like to show you my appreciation…"

"You don't have to do anything, Manuela, I'm content to just be like this."

"Oh, well, that's less fun, but if you're sure I'm not going to force you. I am serious though, I've wanted you for years."

"Huh... I didn't know that. I would have said something earlier."

" _ That would have been nice! _ Honestly, you're so observant about everything but yourself. I just don't understand."

"Maybe I should make up for lost time then?" Byleth replied with a husky tone that made Lysithea feel incredibly uncomfortable.

Manuela laughed softly before offering her own reply, "Maybe you should…"

The drawn out suggestion hung in the air for what felt like hours. Byleth moved towards the door and slammed it shut. A muffled, ' _ there you go _ ' followed. Lysithea decided it was time to return, or rather start, her studies. She turned and nearly screamed as none other than Edelgard stood behind her. A dainty gloved hand covered her mouth to stifle the noise. Lysithea stood with her eyes wide in shock. How long had Edelgard been in this hallway? Was she upset? How terrible a way to find out your affections were not reciprocated.

Softly Edelgard said, " _ Finally _ ! I thought they'd never gather the courage to confess." 

Lysithea continued to stare as Edelgard removed her hand. That wasn't the reaction she had expected. Edelgard seemed genuinely happy for their Professors. Did that mean the two were friends and nothing more? Lysithea realized she might still have a chance.

Edelgard spoke before Lysithea could open her mouth, "Lysithea, there you are! I've been looking for you for ages. We didn't get to finish our dance." Violet eyes glanced towards the floor in a quiet shame, "if you would be amiable to continue that is, but you needn't feel forced to acquiesce if my sentiments are not reciprocated."

Lysithea smiled, a bubbling of joy outweighing the trepidation from mere moments before. Breathlessly she replied, " _ Yes _ , a thousand times yes!"

" _ Really _ ? How wonderful, come follow me. The faint whisperings of music can still be heard from the old throne room."

Hands entwined the two raced down the hall, giddy at the thought of being alone. Perhaps it wasn't too late to confess the years of not so quiet pining? Reaching the throne room, the pair paused, taking in all that the room had come to represent. Lysithea was fearful the shadow of its previous tenant hung over their moment. She hoped nothing else would ruin her chances. Edelgard pulled her from her thoughts by humming a few bars of the song they had danced to previously that evening. Offering a bow to Lysithea, she reached out a hand; Lysithea curtsying in turn accepted. They slowly began to move, the faintest bars of music permeating through the floors. 

The two swayed in place, too entranced to follow the traditional steps of a waltz. Edelgard offered a rare smile, full of hope. Staring with twinkling eyes, she spoke: "Lysithea I must speak with you before another ill-timed interruption ruins things once more." Taking an uncharacteristic breath for courage Edelgard continued, affection coloring the tone of every syllable and refrain, "I-I love you. You are a beautiful whole of contradictions and curiosity I cannot possibly hope to understand. And yet, I wish for nothing more than the time to decipher all that you will allow me."

" _ Really _ ?"

"Yes, truly."

"Oh I feel the same! I see you as you are, not the figments and fragments of pieced together personhood you present to the others. But you, Edelgard, no  _ El _ . I've dreamed of earning a sliver of your affection since I was a girl. To think I've been given it all is overwhelming to say the least."

" _ I see _ ," Edelgard sighed before continuing, "My apologies for being less than transparent. I thought I was doing so well, but it seems I should have vocalized my adoration more explicitly. I'll have to correct that moving forward, I suppose that's what I should have expected turning to Hubert and the Professor for advice."

" _ Hubert _ ? You're joking, surely you must be."

Laughing softly, Edelgard spoke through the unexpected mirth, "Oh, on the contrary, Hubert is quite the romantic when the moment strikes him. It's rather sweet. I never thought he'd buy tea and conduct small talk of his own volition, and here we are following a proposal."

"What!?"

Gasping, "Oh dear, I wasn't supposed to tell! Promise you won't speak of it before the information is public knowledge! I'll never forgive myself for getting you killed. I adore you and refuse to mourn over your corpse."

"Well, umm...you see that's an inevitable El. I'm going to die,  and soon ."

"No. You most definitely will not, I won't allow it."

"I'm unsure if there's anything you can't do, but fighting off death itself seems questionable at best."

"Oh hush, just trust me."

Leaning forward on her tiptoes, with a slight pause, Edelgard placed the lightest of presses against her lips. A kiss? Edelgard kissed her!  _ Edelgard kissed her _ ? Eyes wide, Lysithea froze in place. Alarm crossed Edelgard's face, she began to rapidly apologize for misunderstanding and overstepping Lysithea's boundaries. 

Edelgard was upset, which absolutely was not allowed! Edelgard loved her, and Lysithea had felt the same for such a long time she couldn't fathom anything else. Embracing her instincts that thus far had yielded more positive results than not, Lysithea placed her hands on Edelgard's face silencing her. With a soft smile that melted the terror on the countenance of her counterpart, Lysithea tilted Edelgard's head upwards and kissed her.

Shock jolted through the other woman's frame before she began to reciprocate in earnest. They kissed like the drowning, the damned, the battle weary tasting hope for the first time. Breath was inconsequential, nothing else mattered; just this moment shared between two halves who finally made a whole. Neither knew what the days to come would bring, but both were ready to live out the rest of their moments together, however few or many that remained.

***

Garreg Mach was alight with love and hope and the promises of peace. Sothis was shining down upon them, her vision of a better, brighter tomorrow just in reach. The last of her line may cease to be in the coming days, but she wasn't worried. All things must come to an end to foster new growth. Just as the worms feasting on the flesh of the fallen made way for flowers and trees, so too would her daughter nourish the dawn of a new era. 

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you had a fun time! Feel free to hit me up at gagafan22796 on Tumblr for Fire Emblem and video game things, or stop by my main Keletania.


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